Facebook Trauma & MySpace Envy

Marc Eastman — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:48:01 +0000

Facebook is now the focus of a lot of research, and rightfully so. As just one example, the University of Georgia found that you could diagnose narcissists with surprising accuracy by looking at their Facebook profile. Well…, they did something like that anyway.

It turns out that narcissists who have Facebook accounts will have profile pictures that are really snazzy, probably professional photographs, and they will just look smashing in them. They will also almost invariably have a massive group of friends (they probably don’t know), and use Facebook as a tool for self-promotion. That is, what you will learn about them via Facebook are only the most fabulous things about their lives, and just how tediously interesting they are. Whoa is me, look at all the fantastic things I have to do… that sort of thing.

Well, no shit. Did I need a study?

How about a study on the percentage of Facebook users who are narcissists? A report on the perfection of narcissism vehicle that is Facebook?

Just for fun… here’s a bit more information on narcissists—

One of the main tells of a narcissist is their inability to perceive any trait about themselves that might make them a narcissist (this would be to admit of a reality beyond themselves), and a serious disgust for anyone they perceive as being even slightly narcissistic (thus amounting to a sort of competition to their narcissism).

Traits of a narcissist? Rigidly authoritarian. Hypercritical of others and everything in general. Hypersensitive to any criticism directed at them, no matter how trivial. Inability to accept responsibility for anything, transferring blame to others or simply fate – even when “going through the motions” of accepting responsibility, blame is always ultimately put somewhere else. Casually, and bizarrely cruel to others. Without a true sense of conscience. Incredibly envious, and see others as envious of them. Almost total lack of empathy, and fairly obviously unable to truly understand what empathy even means, although of course they know what to say when describing it. Stingy to the point of eccentricity – classicly referred to as “bad gifters.”

The number one tell above all else? Narcissists are self-contradictory to an absolutely bizarre degree, often (and this is no exaggeration) contradicting themselves within the same sentence or conversation.

I don’t know. I thought it was fun. Sound like anyone you know on Facebook? Get more narcissism info and read a cool pdf on narcissist characteristics.

No doubt simply massive and fabulous research will follow. But, will it be the right research? Will we perhaps attempt to curtail the problems of the Facebook phenomenon? (below find a disclaimer about MySpace)

I’ve been a member of Facebook for a while, and when I started out it looked a lot like this picture Facebook promotes as the example profile. See how clean and nice it is. It looks all friendly with that cute little dragon. Eliza has 5 friends, and goes on nature walks. She comments sweetly on Ann's photo. Who doesn't want to go here, and share pictures and videos with their friends? Who doesn't want to post on people's walls, and make little maps of where they've been?

So, I have some friends that I can see pictures of, and get updates on once in a while. They’ll change their little “what I’m doing” notice, and then I get to know that they’re picking up their dry cleaning, or going on a bender after a tough work week. Whatever. Of course, mine is currently blank.

Follow me on Twitter if you want to know what I’m doing.

Loser.

The whole social-connection internet presence sounded so cool. Plus, there are all manner of silly games, and why not be somewhere your friends can see you when you play solitaire or word jumble? You’re just going to sit there playing it somewhere else anyway. Don’t get me started on the $1 gifts that actually are nothing you can give your friends.

Seriously though, did we ask ourselves if we really wanted to be involved in this thing? Did we know what we were getting into? I had really just started understanding the social world as it was. Now I have this to deal with every time I really just want to run my country, or expand my Tycoon-ness…

(27) friend requests

(13) other requests

(2) cause invitations

(5) new updates

(3) other notifications

What kind of freakin pressure is this? Yeah, I have sent a few friend requests. If you got one from me, you were probably just talking to me… you know, “live.” I’ve even sent them to people I went to high school with, because… look, I actually knew that person in high school.

But, now I’m saddled with some “social,” uncomfortable situation I don’t understand. Am I supposed to be friends with everyone who sends me a request? I don’t know you! What are all these requests? Am I supposed to adopt a dog? What does that mean? Who wouldn’t help a dog, or plant a tree, or whatever feel good geegaw is being pawned off on me, but am I jerk now because I don't click this little invitation that just keeps popping up and staring at me? But, I don’t want to! Why is it up to me? Why do you want me to join your cause anyway? Have you met me? I don’t think I’m your guy.

What do I do with these friend requests? Do I reject them? I don’t know if I can do that? I mean, I don’t know you, but you look nice enough. Who am I to reject you? That sounds serious. But, it won't go away. Should I send a friend request to you? What if you reject me? What if you don’t? What if you start talking to me?

Now we have this whole new world of social interaction, and if we’re starting up the studies we better branch out our psychological practice areas. Traumatic Facebook Stress Post Disorder. Facebookagoraphobia.

I don’t know. Staying in contact with people, and reconnecting with people is a great idea. But, did we really need to establish a new frontier for the lame and vapid to throw their fabulousness at us? Did we need another structure of social label? Facebook socialites. Facebook whores. Facebook snobs. Facebook cranky bastards (that one’s me).

Seriously… well, I don’t know if I can even be her friend, because she is so-and-so’s friend, and that whole group is friends with such-and-such, and I like her, but what will so-and-so think if I’m on such-and-such’s friend list, and what the hell is that what I’m doing now supposed to mean… is she talking about me… why is there a picture of that party on her profile…

At least slow down a little so I can jump.

*Everything about this could substitute MySpace for Facebook, but I don't do MySpace. I have a MySpace account, but I don't go to it. I tried it for a while, but I couldn't go to anyone else's account without getting a shot of blaring music, or having to be blasted with some visual cacophany that made my head ache in less than five seconds. Besides, MySpace users are squares.

Are You Screening? » Social pages

Facebook Trauma & MySpace Envy

Are You Screening?

Are You Screening? » Social pages

Facebook Trauma & MySpace Envy

Are You Screening?

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