American Idol Stops Trying. LOST Is A Wind Up. GLEE Goes Vogue.

I knew something was off when I attended an interview with Simon a few weeks ago. The thing that really caught my attention was when he was asked who he would like to see show up on American Idol as a mentor. His quick reply was Lady Gaga, and it threw me.

As time went on, I really began to wonder. Several articles came out wondering what was going on with the show in general terms, many along the lines of Movieline's article Eyeing X Factor, Is Simon Cowell Deliberately Sabotaging American Idol?

The odder things became, the more I thought back to that interview. Lady Gaga? Somehow this doesn't strike me as the help hopefuls need to push their vocal talents. But, that doesn't seem to be what the show is after anymore. Hopefully people will still tune in seems to be the name of the game now, and then Lady Gaga certainly makes a lot of sense.

Then Miley showed up as a mentor. Really? What a treat that must have been for all the contestants. The wisdom that was on the menu must have been truly impressive.

In case anyone was unclear about Simon's motivation and commitment to the show now that he's leaving, at one point he threw up his hands with the already famous theory that it doesn't matter, no one cares what he has to say, and people are still going to vote for the really cute guy anyway.

Then we get Adam Lambert as a mentor? At least he had the sense to question his own inclusion, but it hardly makes up for the fact that American Idol is clearly throwing in the towel. No one is interesting other than Bowersox, Kara is (still) doing a kind of Paula impression, and Ellen (though fine enough) is just another publicity stunt.

AMERICAN IDOL: Aaron Kelly performs on AMERICAN IDOL airing Tuesday, April 13 (8:00-9:30 PM ET/ PT) on FOX. CR: Michael Becker / FOX.

Worse still? This guy is still around.

I think the powers that be have seen the writing on the wall, and they know that the only people who are going to watch at this point are the ones who will watch no matter what they do. It's about hopefully selling the tour at this point.

Speaking of such things, I have to tell you about an email I received when I used the expression "wind up" not long ago. Now, I maintain that I used the idea correctly in the first place, but I got an email explaining it to me anyway. A wind up, I was told, is not just any old prank. You might look it up and find that as the "definition," but there are a lot of things that are pranks, that are not really wind ups. So goes the explanation I was given.

A wind up is a "story prank," which has as its "punchline," the vague and general notion of how long you can get someone to go along with the line you're feeding them. Thus, for the most part, being "Punk'd," is a pretty good comparison.

Feel free to chime in on what is, or is not, a wind up, but remember, this isn't technically my theory. Though I think it's pretty accurate.

The final play in this somewhat haughty lesson (the funny thing is that I'm pretty sure this is how I was using the expression) was the idea that "LOST is a wind up."

I'm pretty solidly on board with that idea at this point, and have been for a while.

How do you know it's a wind up? For a start, it's pretty clear that no one had the end in mind when they started telling the story. I think that's even an admitted fact. Like many a wind up gone slightly wrong, there comes a point when you (as the winder) are at a loss, because you can't believe the windee is still playing along. When this happens you start to spin wilder and wilder nonsense together, basically as a sort of giving up point. Soon the whole thing was down to aliens, or whatever, because by now you've got somewhere to be, and you just want to stop doing this.

LOST - "The Last Recruit" - Alliances are forged and broken as the Locke and Jack camps merge, on "Lost," TUESDAY, APRIL 20 (9:00-10:02 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/MARIO PEREZ) SHEILA KELLEY

The key here is that once it ends, starting over will never make any sense. From such places are born "it was all a dream" conclusions and the like, because we are at least clever enough to realize that there is no way to connect all the dots.

The most massive, collective, "Oh my God!" in history is coming, and like most wind ups, the marks are all eyes wide and on the edge of their seats.

It doesn't matter what happens at this point, and the more nonsensical it gets from here on in, the more hooked viewers will be. I know what you're thinking, but come back and tell me about it after the finale.

In both cases, no one really cares. You're going to watch, and the ads are already sold. Hooray for shows with solid ratings.

Meanwhile... watch some GLEE.

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About Marc Eastman

Marc Eastman is the owner and operator of Are You Screening? and has been writing film reviews for over a decade, and several branches of the internet's film review world have seen his name. His reviews have brought him personal praise from the director of a major motion picture, and have been used as required reading in a course at a major University. These priceless rewards, along with just bags of cash, keep him from straying from freelance writing. He is also a member of The Broadcast Film Critics Association and The Broadcast Television Journalists Association.

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