ReGOOP! Gwyneth Fs Ya’ll Haters! Dumbasses!

Written on February 4, 2009 by Marc Eastman in Newsish

The first time I mentioned GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow‘s… I don’t know… blog, newsletter, website?, the thing didn’t quite exist yet. The front page of the site was there, but it had no content. It had a cute, little message proclaiming the fabulosity that was about to exist, but that’s about it. Since that time, the thing has really existed well under my radar. Gwyneth (yeah, she writes it herself… let’s say) spits out about three lines of vapid babble every so often as an excuse to run a bunch of disguised ads for hip restaurants, or clothes, or whatever other nonsense fits the GO, DO, SEE bill at the time.

Among other brilliant advice (like what to buy, and what to wear, if you can afford to drop a few bills on designers you can’t pronounce), Gwyneth has so far shared her wisdom on sticking to it, and Detoxing. You know, when the fricking drudgery of spending the day at the spa and cavorting with other movie stars just gets to be too much, and you just don’t want to go buy another $20,000 dress to wear on the red carpet… man, you just got to stick to it. As several other blogs have already mentioned, coming in the near future to GOOP… how to be born into the industry and very attractive, how to get a bit part in a movie with Brad Pitt and then start dating him so you don’t have to worry about “uncredited” roles anymore, and how to be a really good person even with all those bastard Paps around.

You know, stuff everyone can use. And, Yes, Gwyneth goes into far too much detail about bowel movements on the site.

Well, apparently the bloggers have gotten to Gwyneth just a smidge. E! Online reports on her newest spread in Elle UK, where she says:

“F–k the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and for a second your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world.”

I know, right?!

I’m a good person. I mean, look… I just said so. I have given upwards of 1/100000 of my net worth to charity, and I do those commercials for like other people to give too and junk.

We don’t hate you Gwyneth.

It’s just that there are some people who have to decide between their mortgage payment and those ridiculous clothes (or restaurants likely as not) you’re recommending, and some of them find it a little offensive to be advised by rich, pampered simpletons that we should just take a trip and enjoy life.