Watchmen Won’t Be Delayed After All!

Written on December 30, 2008 by Marc Eastman in Movies, Newsish

The news is flying around the internet like a runaway train in a china shop

Fox battles with Warner over release of movie!!!

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Watchmen might get held up by legal battle!!!

Judge rules!!!

The real question is, is any of this really, I mean really, going to change the release date of a film when something over $150 million has been put into at this point? Is there going to be a settlement? It might go either way.

Of course, the really real question is -

Oh my God would you get over it already!!!

Just in what I’ve had to deal with very recently –

The Hollywood Reporter spit out another article on the general idea.

The MTV movie blog had to be sure and post again, despite putting up what barely constitutes a paragraph.

Geek Tyrant put out a self-described Big Watchmen News Bash.

Film.com released an open letter to FOX, basically describing the idea that FOX should just let the movie be released whether they’re right or not.

And, Cinematical gave us an article predicting that the movie won’t miss its release date because the whole thing will definitely settle.

This is just the biggish stuff, and its all from the last two days. This doesn’t count the simply FANtastic number of tweets, emails, texts, forum posts, smoke signals, etc. that have battered me down to nearly nothing. And, this is all AFTER the jillions of posts over the last two weeks.

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Sorry… I just like that picture… and that I got it from the film’s site. Seriously, what’s with that picture?

Listen fanboys, move on to more pressing business. No small animals will be hurt in the delayed release of this movie. The effect on global warming will be hardly noticeable at all (but non-zero somehow… statistics are weird).

Ok, it looks fairly cool. Sure, it’s a good read. It’s not exactly the next greatest thing in the universe, and what difference does it really make to anyone if it comes out a few weeks or months later? Harry Potter got pushed back half a year, and for no real reason, and no one even sneezed. And, look, the whole plot of the book is, while I admit very engaging and filled with actual thought-producing material, completely logically flawed. Sorry. (Pre-emptive warning – comments may eventually contain spoilers)

But, in keeping with the title, the Cinematical story above is absolutely right. There’s no way this avoids settlement. IMHO, Fox gains nothing by delaying the movie, but also doesn’t really lose anything by going to trial.

Can we just end it now? The whole thing is so ridiculously out of hand by now that it isn’t even fun anymore. Calls for protests and/or boycotts over something like this is just to have gone fairly goofy.

I’m announcing my boycott though. I’m boycotting Watchmen fans. You couldn’t drag me to a theater to watch this thing now, no matter when it comes out. I’m waiting for the DVD.