SciFi’s Estate Of Panic Isn’t As Bad As You Think… Because It Is

Estate of Panic is a new reality show on SciFi (rerunning apparently on USA), and it is really just another effort in the bizarre mash that is the reality television world, which is so eager to put things out that it is just putting everything out.  Where other genres might mull things over, get second and 87th opinions, and test market ideas, reality television instead opts for, “Screw it.  Put it on.”

The screwball idea here is that contestants are put through bizarre trials as they try and collect money in various rooms of a scary and/or dangerous house.  One room is filling with water, and has snakes all over the place, another room has walls that start crushing in, etc.  Contestants enter each room in a group, and at the end of… whatever, the challenge I suppose, two people are going home – the last person out, and the person who collected the least money.

Grab cash, get zapped by electric wires, make sure everyone else doesn’t bolt and leave you trapped… there’s a lot on your mind.

Weed a couple people out, and it’s on to the next section of the house.  At the end of the day, one person will be left, and that person will get a chance to keep all the money collected by all the contestants.  It amounted to nearly $30,000 in one episode, but hey, it’s one night’s work.

Sound crazy?

Well, it is.  It’s absolutely goofy.  It shouldn’t come as any surprise that director J. Rupert Thompson has also done directing and/or producing work for such fine shows as Wipeout, American Gladiators, Fear Factor, and Big Brother.  You see what kind of game we’ve got going on here.  

Even the contestants can hardly work up much enthusiasm for the show, and they’re right there about to potentially win money.  Crossing Jordan‘s Steve Valentine hosts, and so far it is a bit too common to see the frustration on his face as contestants have trouble playing along with the idea that they are on a fabulously exciting show. 

Cut.

“Work with me, damn you!!!”

I feel for the contestants though.  It’s probably hard to get excited about being on a show you haven’t seen yet, and long before it hopefully gets popular, even if you have a slim chance of making not all that much money.  Hindering them further is the fact that the show looks like it runs on a budget that barely covers what they give away.  Valentine might be the most serious person on the show, because what they take might actually come out of his pocket.

Here’s the really crazy bit though… it’s not that bad.  It’s actually so stupid, and in such an odd way, that it isn’t unwatchable.

Just to give you an idea where I’m coming from, based on those things mentioned above — Big Brother makes me want to kill myself after ten minutes, I never understood Fear Factor because it just seems to be Eat Weird Animals Factor (which isn’t scary, it’s just gross… I’m not scared of eating live bugs, I just sort of choose not to), American Gladiators worked awfully well when I was 14, but does nothing for me at all now (and I even know one of the new Gladiators), but I admit to watching the first few episodes of Wipeout and laughing… until it got a bit old.

Estate of Panic isn’t a good show by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m going to watch it a few more times and see how I feel about it.  I think where this show might win out (and it is winning out into passable mediocrity if it is) is that it just comes right out and tells you that it’s a stupid show.

Within this genre of stupidity, they always seem to want to be very serious about everything.  Fear Factor acts like there is something to whatever nonsense they’re about.  Big Brother sees people more serious about the ludicrous trivialities of the show than they’ve ever been about anything in their lives, apparently drugging morons into a state of seriousness they are clearly unable to achieve otherwise.  Even America’s Most Smartest Model saw people all whipped up into a frenzy of not realizing the whole premise of the show was to make fun of everyone involved, and the whole fashion world to boot.

Estate of Panic, while admittedly stupid as well, has so far been refreshingly self-effacing.  ”Whatever,” the show says to you as you try to judge it, “it’s just a bit of fun.”  And, when just a bit of fun actually is just a bit fun, I’m willing to play along with that a bit.  

More than that, the show doesn’t actually have to make fun of anyone for that bit of fun.  We aren’t actually calling anyone stupid here, and as opposed to Wipeout, we aren’t really making them look stupid either.  It’s just a straight “this is our gag, come play along,” and it’s entertaining if you can meet it with the right perspective.

I can’t bring myself to actually recommend it, but I’ll have to confess to some guilty pleasure appreciation.

Here’s the commercial.  Watch for Valentine trying to get people to play along with the whole thing.

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