Don’t Even Hint At More Indiana Jones.

A week after I gave Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 0 stars, little hints are already cropping up on the internet about the possibility of another addition to the franchise.  This seems to stem from a few quotes on MTV’s Movie Blog, in which Harrison Ford says nothing valuable, but the blog nevertheless attempts to whip up a little speculation.  CinemaBlend takes a shot at diverting the rumors, sort of, but the general idea has now been spinning around for days.

I suppose it’s hard to argue with something that turns a profit, especially when that something gets a mind-blowing 3 1/2 stars out of 4 by Roger Ebert.  Making movies is, ultimately, a business, and thus there’s got to be a theory that if you made a bunch of money something went right.

Can we get a line somewhere though?  How completely stupid does a  movie have to be before we nix talk about the next one, no matter how much money it made?  You better believe I’m not finding a lot of pictures of swinging on vines, or monkey attacks floating around the internet.

Looked at purely in monetary figures, Crystal Skull is a completely skewed gauge.  Of course people went to see that.  How could you not?  Even after bad reviews (unfortunately mixed with some good ones), you’ve got to see what Indy is going to do next.  But, are we really going to see the next one?  Anyone?  Oh, put your hand down Ebert.

Seriously, Crystal Skull is on the very short list for worst movie I’ve ever seen…  and I’ve seen Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.

This is all goofy rumor at this point, and based on pretty meaningless stuff Harrison Ford said when someone shoved a microphone at him, and put him on the spot.  Let’s not talk about it too much though, lest someone think we’re interested, ok?  

I mean come on, we think of the MacGuffin, and then the story develops from there?  Is that how the last one came about?

Not… ohhh… something like — get absolutely hammered, re-read every press article from anyone who has ever called me “genius,” marathon all the wacky adventure films from pre-1950, spit out whatever inanity pops in my head as a result, and when someone responds that it sounds a little silly knock over a lamp and scream, “I’m GEORGE LUCAS!!!”  Then when an intern scared out of his boots whispers, “Sir, you’re Steven Spielberg, he’s George Lucas over there,” channel the dad from The Christmas Story, slap the intern, and yell, “NOTAFINGA!!!”

It wasn’t something more like that maybe?  Hmmmm….

Raiders of the Lost Ark is not as good a movie to me anymore just because Crystal Skull exists.  Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back  (whatever, Jedi was only so-so) just aren’t as cool anymore, because I know those filmed video games we’re calling prequels are out there.  

Let’s keep talk of a next one on the down low, ok?

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